THE BLOG WHERE I BREAK DOWN AND FINALLY COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL OF THIS F*CKING SNOW
What is up kids?
Wait don't tell me, let me guess.... you're sick of this snow aren't you? Yeah i know, i am too. And man i've been doing my best not to bring it up on this blog, because to me there is nothing more boring then talking about the gddamn weather. ESPECIALLY talking about the snow in New Jersey during winter time. Because guess what kids? It snows in New Jersey during the winter! So when it happens please don't act so gddamn surprised! If people chilling by the equator started every day by saying, "Boy it is HOT out today! And sunny!! Can any of you believe all of this sun, and all of this HEAT?? Who would have expected it to be so gosh darn hot at the Equator in July?!?!"
Or maybe it's just because it seems as though his biggest talent is his ability to get the biggest names in Hollywood to be on his show. He's so likable and popular that every A lister is down to go on with him and do bits because they know they will be safe and there will zero controversy and it's all scripted with no "live" off the cuff moments which is what a talk show should really be all about. Maybe it's all these things that make me not such a big fan, i don't know. Or maybe it's because i'm Team Coco all the way, and still never got over the way he got shafted for the Tonight Show!!!
And even if you are old enough to remember that game you will only remember the next reference if you are old and you were the younger brother or sister!
- Did you know that honey NEVER goes bad, and you can eat it no matter what? Even if it crystallizes or changes colors over the years, honey is always safe to consume. My girlfriend just read that to me from some Huffington Post list about food and i figured i'd throw it here on this blog. Not because it's funny, but because if you get nothing out of my blog today yet still learn that new fact then i have done my job. And if you already knew that fact and i didn't teach you anything then you have REALLY wasted your time reading this...
"OLD SCHOOL" NONSENSE - It's crazy, but it's also a fact that no matter how old you get your handwriting never changes. Isn't that odd? i mean obviously your physical features change. And mentally most of us start to form new opinions and thoughts at some point. Well unless you are a Conservative Republican of course and then nothing should change EVER. "No more big government! Stop with all the free handouts! Bring back Slavery!" Haha just kidding. Conservatives don't want to stop all the free handouts just most of them. But anyways yeah your handwriting never changes, and i have the exact same handwriting that i did when i was a kid. And it is AWFUL. If i ever have kids, or if the courts ever prove that any of them are really mine i am definitely going to make sure they pay attention in handwriting class. i know i didn't and mine looks like a cross-eyed 7 year old with ADD who just drank 3 coffee's and a Redbull signed my name.
So today you learned that honey never goes bad and you also learned your handwriting never changes. What a wealth of free gddamn knowledge i'm giving to you kids on this winter day!
- It's very rare that i get to say goodbye to an "Icon" in these blogs, especially considering it feels like just yesterday that i did my best to give a "fond farewell" to television "legend" Jay Leno. But today i feel it is my "honor" to pay "tribute" to one of New York's most "amazing" athletes of our time. Derek Jeter not only won 5 World Championship Rings playing for the team with the highest payroll of all time, but even more importantly then that he was able to never get married and stay a bachelor, lining up a bevy of beauties that only Leo and Clooney can compete with. And oh yeah the Indian guy from "That 70's Show" too for some reason...
But i hope you guys have a great day, even in this awful weather. And i hope you "like" and "Share" my blog on Facebook and/or Twitter because that always makes me happy, and because when i am rich and famous i promise not to forget about any of you! Except for Jay John. And Chuck. And definitely Burns. And Kohl. But definitely not Jewell because he's a beautiful man and i love him. Just like i love the rest of you kinda!
Cya Friday! @migueljose_85 on Twitter