THE BLOG ABOUT EASTER, 4/20, AND THE MEANING OF LIFE
What is up kids?
It's blog number TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE, and you're gddamn right i'm feeling motherf*ckin fine!
But that Carlin quote above? It was "jokes" like this that made me really start to question everything as a child. Because i couldn't believe what he was saying!! When i grew up you were NEVER allowed to say anything about religion, and just the act of asking a question seemed blasphemous. Questioning religion?? That was a first class ticket to hell as far as most people were concerned!
And i always hated that, and i honestly believe the way they tried to stop us from having questions made me who i am today. Because i know for most people who are religious the idea of having "faith" is enough for them. And while i would never try to take someones faith away from them, it just was never enough for me to believe something just because someone was telling me to do so. i don't care if was about God or even just questioning my bed time as a child, it was a real hard sell to get me to believe anything. ESPECIALLY when i wasn't allowed to ask all the questions that i wanted to ask!
And all i ask is that you don't judge me for doing so. If you believe strongly in religion and don't feel the need to question anything, fine. But don't look down on me or judge me because i want to question life. Gaining knowledge and expanding our minds is TRULY what being a human is all about, that and surrounding yourself with love. And if you need religion to do this so be it, but don't judge others just because their path is a different one then yours. You don't have to agree with what i believe in or how i live my life, all i'm saying is be open to ideas that may seem scary and "offensive" to you.
Although speaking of offensive, get ready for this Sunday at 4:20 because that will be my EPIC 4/20 blog which will also be blog 300. And it doesn't matter if you believe in God or not ,because the fact that i'll have been doing this blog for over 3 years and written 300 mostly masterpieces is a miracle in itself! Hallelujah!
So we did what any passive aggressive aholes would do, we left a note saying "Hey jerkoffs! Stop leaving your disgusting sweathy hairy pubes all over the bathroom every time you use it you gross f*cks!" Which totally solved the problem, right? WRONG! Because imagine our surprise when the kid left us his own personal note where he said, "Look, i'm sorry for the mess in the bathroom. i am going through Chemo right now and i'm losing more of my hair then i expected to..." So yeah that happened to me in my life. Man i'm an ahole! Way to go you sophomoric bag of douche.
- Speaking of cool things you learn on the Interwebs, did everyone else see this meme on social media this week? It's not the craziest thing ever by any means but that doesn't mean it's still not pretty cool!
Pretty fantastic right? Well part DOS premiers on Thursday, in our first ever sequel to one of our episodes. Make sure you tune in to see the amazing conclusion!!
"OLD SCHOOL" NONSENSE - Never, EVER ask a girl "Are you mad at me?" Unless you never want to sleep with said girl ever. Girls HATE insecurity more then anything. Case in point, do you nice guys want to know why girls date a$$holes? Guys like to think it's because they treat their girls like $hit, which is only true in the case of Italian girls. But girls date a$$holes because they are mad confident, and confidence is EXTREMELY sexy to a woman. So again, never, EVER, ask a girl "Are you mad at me?"
Or you can not listen to what i say and then do ask her that, i just hope you enjoy your night alone pleasuring yourself in the shower crying in loneliness like this other Mexican/Dominican guy with somewhat the same build as me did last weekend. No not me jerks, his name is Manuel Jose and he DEFINITELY does not write a blog...
- So i absolutely HATE the NY Rangers and i hope they lose every game in the playoffs by an average of 5 goals. But regardless i do want to say Congratulations to my friend Jackie who just had a beautiful baby girl! She's the money and she deserves all the happiness in the world that doesn't involve hockey, so congrats to my friend and good luck! And i hope Alexa never sees a Rangers cup in her life!!
Fast Food Tips - So i finally tried the Taco Bell breakfast and i have to say it was everything i dreamed of! Not so much a delicious tasting meal, as it definitely wasn't that and that's not what i was dreaming of in the first place. What i imagined was an "after party" in my stomach from eating Taco Bell so early in the morning, and what came next was a natural event in my bowels that would put the Polar Vortex to shame. Forget last night's eclipse, there was a "blood moon" in my very own bathroom as the New Orleans type levies in by butt cheeks burst open and ravaged what was left of "toilet town." So basically what i'm saying is Taco Bell's breakfast gave me the $hits. Guess there's no point in being subtle about it.
But don't forget to watch an all new episode of "VHS Breakdown" this Thursday at 4/20, and then come back here on Easter for my 300th 4/20 blog spectacular! What an epic gddamn week!!!
Cya at Blog #300 on 4/20! @migueljose_85 on Twitter